American Idiot

Someone sent me this great email re: Google maps:-

Go to google maps & click on the "Get Directions" Link.

Enter the directions 'From' NEW YORK & 'To' PARIS in the search box:-

Press "GET DIRECTIONS" & scroll done to LINE 24 of the "Directions".

The Result?

"Swim across the Atlantic Ocean" = 3,462 minutes

Try it? (the link silly, as swimming or driving across the Atlantic ocean is not recommended).

DISCLAIMER - No responsibility can be taken by Before40 if you are mad enough to attempt to swim the Atlantic ocean on the back of this blog, let alone in 3,462 minutes (57.7 hrs, 2.4 days). If you do manage it however, let me know & i will gve you a mention on this blog.

Unfinished Sympathy

7 weeks on from what i thought was a cold, & here i sit, still suffering from laryngitis. A sore throat that won't go away. The doctor has now prescribed penicillin, but still no better.
On the plus side, i am back in training for the London To Brighton Bike Ride after a six week break due to the illness, so i guess i'm on the mend.
Due to the illness i have delayed the back wax task & the colonic irrigation task, but will try & get these done by early May. Then it's time to 'up' the cycling to get fit for the "L2B 2007". The plan is to put in at least 50 miles each week, up from the current 25. (Think of the London To Brighton bike ride as the "London Marathon" for cyclists!!).
5-a-side footy has begun again as well on a Monday. I hope that the illness, cycling & footy combined will kick in the "Loose some weight" task.
Other things going on in "Before40" land:-
A reply from TGI Fridays re: my Disaster visit to their Fareham Resturant. (Will post it here soon).
Over 200 "Friends" now on the Before 40 MySpace site.
Mmmm

Fat Bottomed Girls

Great News! - My Entry for the 2007 London To Brighton Bike Ride is confirmed!
(Bit of an early start, but that should mean less traffic!).
- Click HERE to Sponsor Me!
On a more serious note, i am now into my forth week of Laryngitis which has therefore meant no exercise/cycle training for four weeks. Assuming a recovery is imminenet i would hope to resume training & up the ante for a midweek training ride of say 10-15 miles.
Other benefit of this nasty illness is weight loss! 7lbs so far.

Tell Me Why?

Sometimes, things should just be left alone.

Shave to the Rhythm

12:05PM 16/03/2007 & all is calm. It's red nose day & over £400.00 has so far been pledged; it's time for the head shave.
The clippers have been purchased, the crowd is waiting & the obligitory red nose is in situ.
Location = A "Functional" workshop inside an industrial unit somewhere on an estate in Winchester, Winnall, UK.
Barber(s) = Lisa Finch (Secretary), Bob Thomas (Administrator).

- Five minutes later.
There is laughter. Lots of laughter. Cries of "Oh my God", "What have you done". Lisa is struggling to scalp me, & so hands over the clippers to veteran Bob "Razorhands" Thomas.
Cool as you like, Bob gets to work & calmly/cooly continues the hair excavation works.

No going back now!


& there you have it. Head shaved.

What do you think? - please leave me your comments


At time of writing, the amount pledges = £476.00.
So only £25.00 to go before the back wax becomes reality.
To view the current amount, & to Add your donation here

I'm Too Sexy

So there we have it. 1 week ahead of schedule & the target is reached. In 7 days time i will have a bald head & become an honoury member of right said fred.
So far my good friend Simon is the highest donator, & the reward for his generous donation will be a journey to Winchester to do the shave in front of all my work collegues.
So whilst i contemplate a life of baldness, where to buy clippers, no more washing hair etc. i'm hoping the donations keep coming.
The next target is £500.00. & then it's a back wax too. (Click here for back wax task details)

To Sponsor me & Donate, click here:- SPONSOR ME HERE

Charidee, innit

Got to thinking one day that with some of these tasks i should try & link to charity & raise as much cash for charity as possible:-

(Shave My Head, Parachute Jump, London to Brighton Bike Ride to name but a few)

So, here goes. The first charity one is gonna take place on Friday 16th March 2007
& here's why:-

So my Mission? - Shave my head - for charity.

£250.00 will make this task a reality. No Target, No Head shave.

I really hope you can support me in this task & help raise some cash for charity.

To Sponsor me, click here:-

SPONSOR ME HERE

If i hit the magic £500.00, I will also have a back wax!! (Click here for back wax task details)

Blinded By The Light

Cor blimey govenor. Went for an eye test & 'look'!
I NEED GLASSES!!!!!
Read all about it at: THE EYE TEST TASK!

I.O.U. Sunday's

TGI Fridays
Southampton Road
Park Gate
Fareham
Hampshire

To Whom It May Concern

This is my first ever letter of complaint to you regarding the poor service at your restaurant. Thinking about it, i could probably write one for every visit I've made to a TGI Friday's 'restaurant', but yours got the short straw. (Wonder why I keep coming back then? - read on......).
I would like to outline a tale of poor customer service dished out by your staff at a visit to your Park Gate facility, Hampshire on Sun. 4th Feb. 2007.
I hadn't planned to visit your restaurant on this date, it was pure luck that I was nearby, passing through; unluckily for you (& them), I had my two young children with me. (Incidentally, parents with young children who are fortunate enough to eat out now & again have not much choice in 'Themed/Kids restaurants - TGI's, McDonalds, or a 'Hungry Horse' type place - I am happy to class TGI's as leader of this poor grouping).
I wished I had chosen McDonalds on this instance as they actually manage 9 times out of 10 to get both parents & kids served at the same time.
( - perhaps you could contact them to send some managers on work experience there?)
Question. Why would you send out a kids meal (Veggie Burger, Chips & Beans) out 25 mins before all other orders on the same bill? (On complaining, the 'Duty' manager suggested that we probably ordered this as a starter!) - Yes, that's right, my 5 year old daughter loves burger, chips & beans as a 'Starter'. I guess the fact that on our 'order' was missing her usual main course of rump steak, onion rings, extra fries + side dish of pasta followed by Knicker Bocker Glory might have misled your staff somewhat.
Worse still, people that came in much later than us were fortunate enough to be able to place an order, get served & finish their meal before ours finally turned up. I guess I must thank my lucky stars that the food was at least "Hot".
Some other things to moan about whilst I'm at it:-

• Why is it not possible to combine kids meals with Kids cutlery? A steak knife for kids to eat pasta with is great entertainment for everyone i'm sure.
  
• Balloons. Please don't tease young kids with balloons. It must be TGI's policy to have balloons, balloons in fact lot's of balloons. Everywhere. Young Children love balloons. Balloons are harmless. So if they ask for one, please assume that means 'NOW'. The manager (man "in charge") suggested that most kids who ask for balloons are quite happy to wait until leaving the restaurant.Really?
• It was great to be able to complain to someone at the restaurant about our problems encountered. However, it would have been nicer still to have complained to someone who cared. In your defence, the complimentary 'Balloon Sculpturer' who came round just as we were leaving was a nice touch, & the balloon monkey & balloon flower are still inflated as I write. Please tell the "Sculpturer'to stick to balloon sculpturing though as his card tricks & jokes were appalling.
  

Sorry to nag. I love America. I love your food. Generally the service is OK. It's great that you provide a little drawing pack to keep my children occupied. God damn it, even the balloons add a little atmosphere. It's just that on this occasion it just didn't happen.

I sent you some feedback via the "www.tgifridays.co.uk/Contact-Us-About-A-Visit" web page, but have heard nothing.

Therefore I am resorting to sending the information you require via letter as I cannot seem to contact you any other way. Can I suggest that TGI's follow the rest of the free-thinking world and allow two-way communication via the medium of e-mail? I assure you it is much more effective than a link that doesn’t work.

Hopefully a voucher will be in the post very shortly for my family and I which takes in to consideration how much of a disappointment this visit was (including making me miss Dragon's Den whilst writing this letter. Although I can keep up through the www.bbc.co.uk website, it just isn’t the same, is it?).

Yours Sincerely

Paul Brewer

P.S. You may want my 'Check' number for the meal on said date to prove i am real. Obviously there was more than one Paul Brewer & Co. eating at table 85/1 on 12:45hrs - 14:14hrs with 3 family members on Sunday 4th February so if you weren’t able to look it up for yourselves, here you go:
3699

Spocks Beard

1 months worth of 'Fluff'

Born: 22nd December 2006
End: 21st Jan 2007

New Year Message

Happy New Year to everyone.
2007 is "Year of the Pig".......
So make those resolutions come true. (Mine? - to complete at least 12 tasks from my "to Do" List!)

- most of all - Keep Smiling, Keep Believing!

PAUL

It Bites!

They're Back!

IT BITES are Back!!
Best gig in fifteen years took place on Thursday 7th December, Islington, London UK.
Read some reviews here:-
Dave Ling.com

& see pictures of the band here:-
Rock Reviews

& so i didn't make it to the TV recording of "Ready Steady Cook" Xmas special, so that task remains "Work In Progress".

Ready, Steady COOK!

At long last it looks like the "Be In A Live TV Audience" task is fianlly going to happen.
I today received notification that I have a ticket for filming of the "Christmas Special" of Ready Steady Cook

The email went something like this:-
""OUT OF THOUSANDS OF REQUESTS, YOU (AND YOUR GUESTS) HAVE BEEN INVITED TO PARTICIPATE AS MEMBERS OF THE STUDIO AUDIENCE, IN ONE OF THE BIGGEST TELEVISION SHOWS IN THE UK!
This exclusive eTICKET (sic) is valid for you & your guests to attend the recording of CELEBRITY CHEF READY STEADY COOK! on the --(Deleted to avoid stalker(s)-- December 2006. Doors will open from 13:00PM onwards.
We are really happy that you will be joining us for the recording of this hit cookery show! All we ask is that you (and your guests) are familiar with the date, time and location of the filming and we regret that on this occasion, no one under the age of 10 years will be admitted into the complex and there is no parking available at the studio.
Ever wondered what happens to all that fantastic food after the show? Ever wanted to go behind the scenes of Britain's most popular cookery show? Well now you can! We are really excited to be able to offer you this unique opportunity and become a member of the studio audience and vote for your favourite team... will it be the Red Tomatoes or Green Peppers...only YOU can decide! Hosted by AINSLEY HARRIOTT & special guest celebrities/chefs. ""

So there you have it - I'll be off to London town in December to complete another task.
(It ties in nicely with the It Bites Reunion gig (Can't Wait), and my flight from London to Brussels for work next day - "Killing three birds with one stone" so to speak.

Other things going on in before40 towers recently:-
Before40 is now on MySpace - see me & my 20+ 'Celeb' friends here at www.myspace.com/before40 .
John from beforethirty.co.uk has asked me not to reveal his alternative site design. So i may/may not have.
I have been training heavily for the 'London To Brighton' bike ride in May. Upto 25 miles at a time now & have a posh new racing bike to take me there every time.
Turned down the chance to appear on celebrity scissorhands on Friday 17th Nov. & get my head shaved for Children In Need. Damn. Bottled it, had a cold, Had other plans.

The TV show X factor is fixed - Why? :-
The time it takes from Kate Thornton to announce that 'Voting has ended NOW for the bottom two' & receiving the card with the results on is literally seconds. Too quick in my opinion for someone to write the results down, or for the card with phone/text results on to be printed.
So is it that the card is a 'prop', & that maybe the results are fed to her via the ear-piece?
Or, as I predict that ITV (via Simon Cowell - Don't forget he OWNS the show via his SimCo Company) is fixing the result & maybe pre-determining who is in the bottom two, and then letting the judges decide in-between shows who stays & who goes??
I've just read a piece somewhere that suggests Leona is going to win. Why? - It seems Leona will take the top prize because the song chosen for the winner's debut -single - ('Kelly Clarkson's A Moment Like This') - is better suited to a female voice.
So, you know where you read it first. (C'mon The McDonald Brothers!)

"The only thing you get to keep is what you give away"

Beware! - Mercury Is In Retrograde

On October 28, 2006, Mercury, the cosmic magician, turned retrograde in Scorpio, the sign of the Scorpion, sending communications, travel, appointments, mail and the www into a general snarlup!
This awkward period began a few days before the actual turning point (as Mercury slows) and will last for three weeks or so, until November 18, when the Winged Messenger reaches his direct station. At this time he halts and begins his return to direct motion through the zodiac.

Everything finally straightens out on December 5, 2006, as he passes the point where he first turned retrograde. Mercury turns retrograde three times a year, as a rule, but the effects of each period differ, according to the sign in which it happens.

November is going to be a bad month (Hence no further tasks for a few weeks).
So beware of misunderstandings with friends or lovers; communication problems, problems with phones, computers and transport. All of these usually arise because some crucial piece of information, or component, has gone astray, or awry.
It is therefore not wise to make important decisions in November, since it is very likely that your decisions will be clouded by misinformation, poor communication and careless thinking!!!!!!!!

You've been warned!!!!

China Crisis

I thought it might be a good time to mention a bit more about the 'Mid-Life Crisis' side of life. After-all, I'm in the middle of one, & the www.before40.co.uk is dedicated to me getting out of it & safely to the other side!
Francis Dunnery is still on his House concert tour (Now re-named the 'Mid-life crisis tour' ironically) and a local newspaper recently had an interview with him in which he spoke about his theory of it all (A Mid-life Crisis):-

"It's something that happens to all of us," he says. "It starts at about 35 and ends at about 42. It's when who you think you are gets killed by who you really are. You get absolutely devastated. It kills your confidence. For some of us it means divorce. For some of us it means starting a whole new career. But in the great British tradition, nobody talks about it."

That summed it up quite nicely for me.
Some Psychologists do not recognise the 'condition' & merely put it down to depression / stress / tiredness etc.
What do you think...............?

Another task done this week, thats three in 3 months, so i'm on track for the full 40 to be completed in 4 years!
I have also uploaded my task list onto two similar type sites (= More exposure for me!) -
my50.co.uk
&
43things.com
Go on, have a look.

Free Download

So another task has been completed & to celebrate i am offering all my viewers/readers/fans etc. a FREE DOWNLOAD!!
Yep, that's right a free download, no catch, no signing up to any selling scheme or mailing list.
The downside? - You need to visit my site & read about the task.
Click here to view the site & get the free download -
FREE DOWNLOAD
"What is it" I hear you ask? "Sounds to good to be true".

Yep, to celebrate the making of the Before40 Vegetarian Lasagne, & thus completion of another task you can now download my special recipe for free! - Here.!!!!!!!!

ENJOY!!!!

What a Ranker!!

It's good news today.
My Before 40 site got a page rank from Google!!

Google rates my site 4 out of 10 :-

This is brilliant for a site so new. Read all about Page Ranking here
To put the 4/10 rank into prespective, i have listed some famous sites & their Ranking:


Stat Counter = 10/10
Google = 9/10
Ebay = 8/10
Nat West = 7/10
Money Supermarket = 6/10
Francis Dunnery = 5/10
B&Q = 4/10
Daily Mail = 3/10
Frankie Goes to Hollywood = 2/10
Before Thirty = 1/10

Hope that gives you an idea of how google rates 'importance'. This also means that the Before 40 site will now be ranked higher in the search engines when typing in such things as "things to do" or "Mid-life Crisis" etc. etc.!!!!

Oh, & just incase you were wondering, my next task is coming very soon!

Wake Me Up Before you 'Logo'

I was thinking that the www.before40.co.uk site needed some kind of logo to help give it 'modern' twist, & so set myself the mission of finding a logo company able to meet my strict criteria & demanding nature.
After a day of browsing round 'the net' I came accross the site of a Web designer called Samantha from www.designasite.biz - I liked their philosophy of "A design service is based on the KISS (Keep It Stupidly Simple) principle"
Anyhow a few email exchanges later and the first design was through & had an immediate impact on me. A few 'tweaks' later & we had the final design, as seen now on the site & on the top of this blog.

Sam's idea behind the logo can be explained thus:

"The Sideways '40' is basically to represent 'unconventional', & also acts as a 'stop' (i.e. stops the word before). This is to tie in with doing things before forty. The arrow has a few wiggles (or 'humps' or 'hills') to graphically represent over the hill which you may be considered at forty, especially if you are trying to do some impossible things before that. Also being an arrow,
represent moving forward and not being hindered by age, hence why it points away from the number 40".

Genius.

& so the Before40 logo was born......

All Change

I like Change. Change Is Good,

Change Is Fun.

So I have Changed A Task

NEW TASK!

Somewhere on the good old 'www', 'internet', 'The Web', 'The Net' etc is this new task.

It is a task in progress, but deemed 'unacceptable' or 'inappropriate' to host on the main www.Before40.co.uk site.

So I have called this task - 'The Secret Task'

It's a VERY BIG challenge & needs your help, your friends help, in fact it's gonna need a lot of help. But it is achievable.

- & It should be fun watching it's progress.

The Task itself when complete will be very 'Pleasureable' (Now there's a clue!).

So go on 'The Net' & have a search - (Think 'Keywords' of this site).

Can't find it? - Then search again.

(If you are desperate to know, email me & as long as you agree to participate, I will email you the link!)

Found it Yet?

First One Done

So there we have it - the one task i thought was going to be virtually impossible infact becomes the first task completed! -
Meet My Hero Francis Dunnery.
So imagine this - you've followed your favourite band/
singer/
artist for 20 years. You've bought every CD, DVD, 'T' shirt etc. & travelled all over the country to watch the gigs. If someone said to you "one day, that band/singer/artist will come & play in your living room" you'd say they've lost the plot & tell them to get a life.
Well, this has happened to me (sort of):-
(For those of you who haven't heard of Francis Dunnery before let me explain)
Once upon a time (1986-1991) there was a band who had a top 5 hit with 'Calling all the heroes'. The bands name? - It Bites. The Lead Singer/Guitarist was a young Cumbrian called Francis Dunnery He hit the booze in a big way & quit the band in 1991. I was gutted. Absolutely gutted. It Bites continued with a new singer, new name, but it wasn't the same. A few years later, Francis got his life in order & has since created many a masterpeace of a 'solo' album. He also now has his own record label & has written for & produced many artists (Ian Brown, Santana, Lauren Hill, Marti Pellow, Chris Difford to name a few!).
Back to the gig - Francis is currently touring the world via a series of 'House Concerts' - yep, he comes to your house & plays to your family & friends. Amazing. You can apply to host one via the website. I did just that & was offered the opportunity to host a house concert on 17th August, but had to decline due to my little house being unable to hold 35 + 'middle-age' people in one room. Damn.
As luck would have it, a couple (Ian & Venessa) from a nearby town in Bursledon, Southampton also applied & were successful. The date - August 16th 2006. So i contacted them & got 2 tickets. The scene was set!
Their house is beautiful & they were the perfect hosts for this kind of event.
Francis, full of cold turned up (eventually) Played for well over two hours & was full of great psychological banter inbetween songs. Francis explained to everyone about his mid-life crisis - (how bizarre that his started at 35 years old too!)
It was a truly amazing gig. A dream come true.
Afterwards, he joined everyone for a natter, a bite to eat etc & this is when the pic above was taken - we talked about astrology, starsigns etc. but not for too long because:-

1. - It was Bl**dy late & our babysitter was getting a bit miffed
2. - I was too shy & nervous to think of something more interesting to natter about
3. - There were 30 other people all wanting a bit of Francis & his time, so felt it was best to 'Share him' around a bit!

In fact i think V spoke to him more than me! Anyhow, i have given Francis my www.before40.co.uk 'business card' (how tacky is that!) & he has promised to pay the site a visit. So if your reading this Francis, thank-you very much for a truly amazing night.

There will be a short video to follow from the night, and a more detailed write up on the site.

+ More details of the night to follow soon on www.before40.co.uk

So now it's onto the next task.........................................